– Dieter Rams

Yeah, what that guy said.

and I’m tired

There’s just speed and action.

then how are we supposed to do anything else?

make a flipping to do list

more loops and demos have been posted

seem to prohibit finding answers in the outside world.

of not knowing what to do.

I need to update this site.

It needs more work. More time.

And some things need to be removed.

The day I got Minecraft

that we’ll get through this. Because we always do.

But is that true this time?

its like 10 dimensions wheras in the real world it is only 3.

it’s oddly similar to playing minecraft for the first time. the novelity and mystery is something else. like seeing 100 new colors for the first time all at once.

I can grasp it.

But most of the time I can’t.

I should post more stuff

are within!

they were always within!

of the purpose

to make the world a better place?

it’s all coming together

this time

this time

this time

when will it come together?

“Action is the antidote to despair.”

abandon perfection and you’ll make a masterpiece.”

the conventional path just doesn’t work for you.
there’s always other pathways.

so don’t try to do everything.

it’s my environment.

let the music come out the way it wants to come out.

let the words come out the way they want to come out.

it’s been a year and so much has happened

and yet i’m in the same place doing the same things, listening to the same music, and i still haven’t done enough of what i need to do.

including your own mind

will tell you that you can’t do it

that it’s not worth it

that it’s pointless

DON’T LISTEN TO ANY OF IT. EVER.

The peace, the serenity, the bliss.

Tap into it.

Feel it.

Then embrace it.

Seek to live in it permanently.

The world is what it is, people are who they are.

No need to indulge in the noise.

Block it all out and do your thing.

just take what you have

and figure things out on your own.

what do you want?

what do you want?

that the world has become a parody of itself?

But the real question is, when did this major shift happen?

is that even when you walk away from it, everyone you know is still using it.

And the majority of people in the country (and the developed world in general) are using it and are being subject to its insanity with all the misinformation, conspiracy theories, dehumanizing politics, bots, spam, scams, braindead soul-sucking attention-destroying “entertainment”, toxic personal conflicts, fake mental illness, etc.

And there’s nothing you can do about it.

when you feel like doing something that is bad for you.

It’s easy to forget why something is harmful for you, and that forgetfulness is what makes you do it again.

out of the mindset you need to be in

is the need for validation that you once didn’t have.

the exact person you need to be right now.

the tests that the universe seems to give you.

for anything.

is to get back to where I was before long ago.

Then I can move forward the way that I am supposed to.

is that it’s sustainable in terms of the workload involved in adding content and performing maintenance, as well as in terms of software degradation. It needs to be future-proof.

A good example is the video gallery I’m implementing right now. There’s a good chance the software behind it will not last more than a few years before it’s abandoned or otherwise broken. That’s why it’s important to maintain the file lists alongside the gallery to ensure the videos uploaded here are still organized and easily accessible.

You are the one in the pilot’s seat.

You are the pilot.

But the pilot can not speak.

Do not listen to the voice.

You are not the voice.

Stay calm.

you just need to stop and focus

on your kingdom

on your empire

on your world

• Bacon
• Pancakes
• Waffles

after the change

that you can’t see right now.

noise and stimulation.

Get rid of it.

and ask yourself: “am I being guided?”

to get out of a situation in which you are being controlled.

the current paradigm

Expect nothing

you’re not supposed to do anything

and the things that you do are not supposed to be done in any particular way.

There are no rules.

to celebrate the little wins

not screw your future self over

everything you set out to do.

Sacrifices must be made.

don’t look at explosions

to shift my frame of mind

more permanently

not a single person in the world

not in space either

And post it

But where the heck is the reset button?

you can’t trust your own word

you committed to this in the past and failed

so don’t do it again or else it will get even harder

Really sucks the life out of you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImdtZKSdPuc

Go the other way

To get free
You will be uncomfortable
You need to be uncomfortable

is nudge the odds of success in your favor

we’re doing it
we’re doing it
we’re doing it
we’re doing it
we’re doing it
we’re doing it!
we’re doing it!!
we’re doing it!!!

Tired

People who hate everyone that is more successful than themselves
People who can’t forgive others for their past mistakes in spite of their efforts to improve
The common “chronically online Reddit user” types who feel entitled to other peoples’ wealth, and who tear down those who brought bright people together to create something that makes the world a better place.
The narcissism and close-mindedness and crab mentality and lack of compassion is something I want as far away from me as possible.

and get going

a really good idea!

to look at my own dang website sometimes.

And how it very cleverly tries to get you to stop doing important things like learning from online courses, learning about music, learning about programming. Your mind is short circuited from years of too much stimulation. You are falling into the trap that is the hedonic treadmill. It’s hard to get out of it given the social and technological environment we are in today, but it is possible, and will free you from the place you have been stuck for nearly a decade.

Time will pass regardless of whether you take action or not. So take action. And do not stop.

Remember it’s all about the journey, not the destination. This is where you are and what you do. You are a musician, you are a programmer. These are the processes that you do. You learn and and you apply. You do courses and make things with what you learn. These are what you do now and what you will do 10 years from now. Once you reach those arbitrary destinations or goals you will suddenly become dissatisfied. So stop looking for shortcuts to get to them. This phenomenon happens all the time to people in competitive fields like sports, etc because the thing they were working towards is over now. This causes them depression and misery. Instead of goals you will focus on the process of continuous growth and this will never happen to you. But you must understand that procrastination is a trap that is preventing you from being you, preventing you from reaching your true potential.

85% of people never finish a Udemy course. They burn out because they want fast results. They get excited for the first few minutes of doing it and then the high of the excitement wears off. This is the hedonic treadmill in action. They like the idea of the results and riches and status that the skills learned from the course will get them, not the process of growing itself. Then they feel depressed and miserable wondering why everything is so hard and why they can’t achieve anything. The cycle repeats over and over for millions and millions of people. But we can transcend this by simply understanding how our minds work intuitively. Don’t let the subconscious monkey brain win. You are a conscious human, let your conscious human brain win.

Have a look at this Reddit post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/simpleliving/comments/hzd76u/finding_out_about_the_hedonic_treadmill_is_one_of

Due to advanced technology, higher standards of living, etc
Self sufficiency is very hard
But certain technological advancements and social changes are moving society towards a direction that is more suitable for self sufficiency with less compromises

Broadcast the time it takes to do my laundry to the CCP

I want to be independent

I need to be free

I need to be independent

https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person

Reddit comments (from https://www.reddit.com/r/socialskills/comments/5rk4qy/6_harsh_truths_that_will_make_you_a_better_person/)

1. 
This has been around for literally years as the article itself states. They keep reposting it just changing the year in the first sentence. It’s that good an article. For me personally it was instrumental to getting my shit together last year, and it inspired me to go from obese to normal weight as well as constantly work on self-improvement. Highly recommend it. It’s got a pretty bleak view of humanity at its core, but it’s a harsh truth and sometimes those are what you need.

2. 
This is incredibly good content, and I agree that it echos many observations I’ve made myself. In my own words from a journal entry I wrote almost three years ago:
   “… I hate their work, but I resent them more because I never proved to anyone that I could do better.”
3. 
During the last 2 years I’ve focussed extensively on self improvement. Much of what is mentioned here aligns with observations I’ve made, or things I’ve read and then confirmed through experience. My life is better than ever for knowing these types of things. Things go two ways. When you know what the world expects from you, you can expect things from the world too.

to live in a cabin in the woods

• A mild feeling of general dread
• Inability to focus on something without distracting mental chatter
• Hard to not play music in my head
• General apathy / anhedonia

Questions:

• Is it possible to get better? to be like how I was before 2013/2014?
• Did I even feel better back then?

Important to Remember:

• Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
• Growth involves suffering
• The internet is a hyperstimulatory false reality, like a drug, and leaving it will result in “withdrawal symptoms”
• There once was a time where I could live without the internet with no problem despite having unrestricted access to it.
• Not living in the false reality gives me a significant advantage
• The “withdrawal symptoms” should get better
• The “pathways” should slowly rewire

It may be possible that it’s not enough to simply unwire the bad/unwanted behaviors and their rewards but that we also must rewire to the good behaviors that were previously unwired from repeated bad behaviors. For example stopping social media and YouTube might not be enough. We probably also need to read books to actively rewire the mind for less stimulating activities. This works because reading books requires active brain use for processing and memory. Books don’t seem appealing now but with time it will get better (based on my experience in 2019). It’s like after drinking almost nothing but apple juice for months in 2013, water taster bitter, but after quitting juice and drinking only water, it quickly stopped tasting bitter.

I’m noticing that I’m trying to rationalize bad behaviors when I just stop and try to practice mindfulness. For example, trying to rationalize mindless scrolling online because I need to find “important” information even though I really already know what I need to do. It’s like a background voice that’s constantly issuing commands to try to get me to do those things.

• Standards and expectations for myself are too high
• Thinking about what other people will think
• Time

Why everything falls apart
But nothing ever fixes itself?

Wait, what’s happening?
No, I mean what is “happening”?
What does it mean to happen?

when things don’t change

Everything was so simple.

We didn’t have much. We weren’t good at anything. And yet we were whole.

It’s been missing for a very long time.

What is it?

But what option do we have?

I quickly become repulsed by it. I feel bad for doing it. It makes it harder to try again.
I need the opposite. I need to do things and feel better about doing them afterwards.

Yes, very cold.

we’re in the DOING phase right now

For yourself
And nobody else

What do we focus on first?

• Technology, Engineering, building a prototype?
• Validate the idea and business model?

And do we:

• Focus on small scale?
• Focus on grid scale?
• Focus on industrial applications?

• Make music?
• Start a trillion dollar energy company and take over the world?
• Write a book?
• The same project i’ve been “working” on but don’t care about?
• Make YouTube videos?
• All of the above?

that’s it, that’s the post.

Stress and care free

and distractions

Your brain is just looking for cheap rewards

For a while

are becoming part of my new “personal aesthetic”

after all these years of just black and silver, although those are definitely still key elements.

Things to live by:
– Humility
– Selfless Service
– Philanthropy
– Self Control
– Self Improvement
– Discipline
– Fortitude
– Integrity
– Productivity
– Purpose
– Sustainability

Things to not live by:
– Gluttony
– Hedonism
– Greed
– Extravagance
– Purposelessness
– Pride
– Wrath
– Destruction
– Pollution
– Addiction
– Envy

I need some glue

what’s wrong with me

https://www.youtube.com/@Liminaire1

winter to roll around

where are you at?

Sleep, diet, and exercise

theres 1500 calories in a bag of takis

This one was kinda mid though