I want to be independent

I need to be free

I need to be independent

https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person

Reddit comments (from https://www.reddit.com/r/socialskills/comments/5rk4qy/6_harsh_truths_that_will_make_you_a_better_person/)

1. 
This has been around for literally years as the article itself states. They keep reposting it just changing the year in the first sentence. It’s that good an article. For me personally it was instrumental to getting my shit together last year, and it inspired me to go from obese to normal weight as well as constantly work on self-improvement. Highly recommend it. It’s got a pretty bleak view of humanity at its core, but it’s a harsh truth and sometimes those are what you need.

2. 
This is incredibly good content, and I agree that it echos many observations I’ve made myself. In my own words from a journal entry I wrote almost three years ago:
   “… I hate their work, but I resent them more because I never proved to anyone that I could do better.”
3. 
During the last 2 years I’ve focussed extensively on self improvement. Much of what is mentioned here aligns with observations I’ve made, or things I’ve read and then confirmed through experience. My life is better than ever for knowing these types of things. Things go two ways. When you know what the world expects from you, you can expect things from the world too.

to live in a cabin in the woods

• A mild feeling of general dread
• Inability to focus on something without distracting mental chatter
• Hard to not play music in my head
• General apathy / anhedonia

Questions:

• Is it possible to get better? to be like how I was before 2013/2014?
• Did I even feel better back then?

Important to Remember:

• Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
• Growth involves suffering
• The internet is a hyperstimulatory false reality, like a drug, and leaving it will result in “withdrawal symptoms”
• There once was a time where I could live without the internet with no problem despite having unrestricted access to it.
• Not living in the false reality gives me a significant advantage
• The “withdrawal symptoms” should get better
• The “pathways” should slowly rewire

It may be possible that it’s not enough to simply unwire the bad/unwanted behaviors and their rewards but that we also must rewire to the good behaviors that were previously unwired from repeated bad behaviors. For example stopping social media and YouTube might not be enough. We probably also need to read books to actively rewire the mind for less stimulating activities. This works because reading books requires active brain use for processing and memory. Books don’t seem appealing now but with time it will get better (based on my experience in 2019). It’s like after drinking almost nothing but apple juice for months in 2013, water taster bitter, but after quitting juice and drinking only water, it quickly stopped tasting bitter.

I’m noticing that I’m trying to rationalize bad behaviors when I just stop and try to practice mindfulness. For example, trying to rationalize mindless scrolling online because I need to find “important” information even though I really already know what I need to do. It’s like a background voice that’s constantly issuing commands to try to get me to do those things.

• Standards and expectations for myself are too high
• Thinking about what other people will think
• Time

Why everything falls apart
But nothing ever fixes itself?

Wait, what’s happening?
No, I mean what is “happening”?
What does it mean to happen?

when things don’t change